tall penguin

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Posts by tall penguin

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  10

  KNOCKING JW documentary update

  by DannyHaszard in

  1. social
  2. current

  received via email 30 mins ago friday sept 30 2005

  thanks for your interest in the knocking documentary.

  we apologize if .

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  tall penguin

  This documentary has got me a bit steamed. While jw's have preserved civil liberties in many ways, they've also taken away the liberties of each individual in their organization by stifling their independent thought and disfellowshipping dissenters. And the recent Quotes case is a direct violation of said civil liberties. The court cases the Witnesses have fought and won have been self-serving.
  As for the Holocaust issue, well, as we all know, Rutherford had some very anti-semetic views and actually attempted to gain Nazi favour before WWII. See http://quotes.watchtower.ca/nazi_conciliation.htm
  And the blood issue...I don't even need to go into that here. While I do applaud the advancements made in bloodless surgery and treatment, the ends does not justify the means.
  tp
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  14

  ANYBODY STILL HAVE A WITNESS MENTALITY?

  by stillAwitness in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  o.k so i am living the "double life" i suppose.

  but its funny how sometimes i still catch myself doing or saying things that only a "really spiritual" preason would.

  like the other day when i saw a cute tank top on sale but it said "libra" on it.

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  tall penguin

  Ditto Kid-A! I find my tendency to make quick judgements one of the most residual effects of my jw life. I find it challenging not to categorize people and see them as either "good" or "bad." Of course, this kind of judging applies just as much to me too. So I'm learning to love myself and others unconditionally. A HUGE learning!
  tp
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  32

  Using your anger to make positive changes

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  using your anger to make positive changes in your life

  i was so mad i just exploded in rage.

  how many times have you heard someone say, "that wasn't very mature of you," after you have lost your temper.

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  tall penguin

  Thanks Lady Lee. Your comments brought tears to my eyes.
  It's a hard road. I'm actually amazed though at how well I'm doing with things since I left the organization. The fall-out isn't as bad as I imagined it would be. I've been doing healing work in varying degrees over the past decade and I believe it has helped me to deal rather well with all of the change I'm going through now.
  And it's funny...even though I've left "God's organization" I feel an ever stronger presence of God and Christ in my life now than I ever did. Each day there's a calm voice in the back of my head saying "You're doing good. Keep going. Everything is going to be okay. I'm here to support you." It's a nice feeling.
  tp
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  31

  Trusting ourselves vs trusting the org

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my discussion with estee yesterday the subject of how the wts edits their own literature came up.

  it wasn't until after i left that i began to realize the extent of these edits or that they even occurred.. an example i gave is how i could clearly remember having read something in a magazine.

  i could recall clearly where it even appeared on the page even if i could not recall what issue it was in.

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  tall penguin

  Thanks Lady Lee for bringing this back. Very interesting reading. Very profound.
  tp
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  32

  Using your anger to make positive changes

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  using your anger to make positive changes in your life

  i was so mad i just exploded in rage.

  how many times have you heard someone say, "that wasn't very mature of you," after you have lost your temper.

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  tall penguin

  Thanks Lady Lee for bringing this to the top. Anger is a tough thing for me. I have always been the sponge for other people's emotions, taking them on so they didn't have to hurt anymore. My mother taught me to do this well, since she suffered from anxiety and depression my whole life. My earliest memories are of me wandering into her room (or being sent in by my father to "see how your mother is doing") and seeing her laying across the bed crying and wanting so much to make it better for her.
  I have never felt like I was a child. I was very acutely aware of the feelings of adults around me and I wondered constantly, "Are other kids thinking about the stuff I'm thinking about?"
  I worried about my mother. Then my brother got added to the list as he entered a deep depression once my mom became a jw. I was constantly worried that either one of them was going to commit suicide.
  And with my dad, I walked on eggshells, his passive-aggression leaving me unsettled, never knowing how he'd respond to me. And at some point I developed my own death wish, just wanting so much to go to sleep and never wake. I remember so many nights praying to God to not let me wake the next day. He didn't answer such prayers. I wondered which ones he did answer.
  I can relate to the concept of a "psychic death." I don't know if the child I was ever lived in the first place. I actually have come to loathe the little girl I was. She was so vulnerable and open and she didn't speak up for herself when people took advantage of that openness. I hate that she didn't have the courage to express herself. I'm angry that she didn't know any better. Although a child, I judged myself through the eyes of an adult.
  One of the reasons I've been so afraid of having a child is the fear that I might have a girl. Being raised by a passively misogynistic mother it has always been a challenge to relate to females even though I am one. My mother used to say that women were boring to talk to. She had very few female friends, very few friends in general. Even in the congregation, my mother keeps everyone at arm's length. No one really knows her. Those female friends she did have while I was growing up were mostly much older than she--kind of mother figures, women who needed her care.
  And although I was "Daddy's girl" I never felt truly valued by him. They say, "No man is an island." My father appears to be the exception to that rule. He's never had any close friends. His motto in life is, "Expect nothing from no one." He's told me many times that he doesn't need anyone.
  There's so much to work through here.
  Anyhow, the more I heal the little girl I once was and attempt to find something in her to love, the more I love the woman she's become. Not an easy journey by any means. Yet every day it gets better.
  tp
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  64

  Do Must Dubs Have Pre-Marital Sex?

  by tall penguin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it's not often talked about but in my experience a lot of witnesses have sex (or something like it) during their courtship.

  and most of them never go to the elders about it.

  recent case in point: my dear friend got married this past summer.

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  tall penguin

  legolas,
  Ya, the double standard craziness makes my head spin.
  tp
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  64

  Do Must Dubs Have Pre-Marital Sex?

  by tall penguin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it's not often talked about but in my experience a lot of witnesses have sex (or something like it) during their courtship.

  and most of them never go to the elders about it.

  recent case in point: my dear friend got married this past summer.

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  tall penguin

  It's not often talked about but in my experience a lot of witnesses have sex (or something like it) during their courtship. And most of them never go to the elders about it.
  Recent case in point: My dear friend got married this past summer. I had recommended the brother that gave their marriage talk. A few weeks after the wedding, my friend and I got together for coffee. He thanked me for referring the brother to give their wedding talk and then said with a wink and a smile, "I was so glad he didn't ask about our courtship. Phew!"
  I've heard other witnesses make similar comments. Some who've even lied to the brother marrying them. And honestly, I don't care one way or the other. I just find it so interesting that these "devoted" witnesses don't even adhere to their own standards and structures.
  By the way, this dear friend of mine refused to talk to me once I let him know I was disassociating. His wife had one final msn conversation with me and implied that he was very angry about my decision and I would likely never hear from him again. Nice.
  tp
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  28

  Limping on two opinions - mine and theirs!

  by atypical in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been lurking at these sites for a while and have finally decided to post.

  forgive me for not wanting to give any clues as to my identity, but i am still struggling as a fence-sitter - knowing how i feel but not wanting to be cut off from my family and friends.

  so my meeting attendance is sporadic; when i go to the meetings i am told "i'm worried about you" or "where have you been, your wife has been coming by herself".

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  tall penguin

  Welcome atypical. It takes a lot of courage to come here and share yourself with us. Thank you.
  tp
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  17

  The story of my life (part 1)

  by onacruse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my totally overwhelming 53 years of human existence, i've finally learned that "it isn't what you think you know; it's what you've been through" that matters to most other people.

  so, as an unwilling, though also willing, participant in that cycle of life and death, belief and unbelief, i will offer more to you more than i've ever said to any group of folks than i've ever known.

  that's jwd .

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  tall penguin

  Thanks for sharing. When you're ready, tell us more. We're listening.
  tp
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  27

  Elders = Amateur Lawyers | Case Study Marriage Separation - Society scolded

  by confusedjw in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  while serving as an elder we had a sister who was moving to another congregation in conjunction with separating from her husband.. another brother and i had been working with them for many weeks and were asked to send a letter to the new congregation, commenting on the situation and scriptural validity of the separation.. the situation was that she claimed he was endangering her and cited one physical incident where she hid behind a door and playfully jumped out to scare him, he reacted by striking out with his arm and hit her in the shoulder.

  she admitted he was very sorry about the incident, but she suspected he somewhat did it on purpose.

  she also brought up several situations in there marriage of him not taking the lead and weird behavior.

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  tall penguin

  Apostanator,
  That story sounds familiar. I know a former elder and his wife who've been separated (living apart) for about 6 years now and although their local congregations know about the separation, they "play house" for everyone else, especially non-dub family. So when they visit this couple, they see the "perfectly happy jw marriage." Talk about dysfunctional!